Dear Facebook, We Need to Talk

We need to talk. I'm seeing other people. I know I've been distant lately.  In fact, we never really talked about why I walked away from you for a while two years ago and I really feel bad about that. You wanna know why? You're like that studly rockstar surfer / skatepunk boyfriend I dated in college who threw those really AWEsome parties?! He was so cool but Oh so unreliable! .....See? FB, you are so popular I couldn't resist you...even when I knew you were no good for me I kept overlooking your faults and taking you back. I HAD to have you but I really never liked it!
You were slutty, shifty, & unreliable! ....especially with my personal information! You spilled my secrets without hardly a blink or an "I'm sorry!" I knew that. Everyone knew that. Where was my privacy? I had to keep tweaking things to feel safe around you and every other week or month you let me down or flipped the script on me! You also changed almost every other month - like big change. You are EXHAUSTING! I still don't know what to expect. I don't think I'll EVER fully trust you! At least I never played any of your games. Me? Farming? Seriously? I.Think.Not.
With you, my worlds collided. All of a sudden it's like I'm at this party surrounded by all my old high school and college friends who were showing my new EdTech professional & librarian friends pictures of me from my partying hardcore punk rock, rockabilly, & new wave 80's and days?! Tagging me here, tagging me there!  Without even asking me! WTH!? I had to go around & untagging and yanking them so that I could keep some semblance of professionalism. I had had it up to here, FB and I left you. Remember that? I just upped and walked away. Of course you didn't make it easy. For some reason it's easy to "take a break" from you but to totally leave and quit you I had to go through hell!
I stayed away from you for 6 months or maybe it was a year. All I know is that I almost felt shameful about it and no, I didn't blog about it then. Because I new I really should be  
AT THAT DAMN SOCIAL MEDIA PARTY! But I realized to do it properly I had to say goodbye to all my old high school and college friends and come back to you alone. I needed to be seen at that party but I came back on MY TERMS. For my web presence I felt that I had to be on FaceBook but I didn't have to like it. So yeah, you're hot and I used you as much as you used me but I never really liked it. I came back alone, open, transparent, and professional. Did you notice that I was chilly with you? Only throwing you a nod here and there with most ALL of my love going to Twitter? Yeah, didn't think so. And frankly, not to sound shallow...though you're really popular and all you're not all that attractive - that ALWAYS bothered me. Not like my first....MySpace! [swoons at the memory] Now THAT was a Pretty InterFace!
I gave up my first social media BF... MySpace Tom for you! I had molded MySpace (Is it still there? Did you take yours down? If so, it's like some kind of frozen early Internet record of my life!) Anyway, I dressed my MySpace up with some of my awesome HTML skillz, and pimped it out so great...then well it changed, it grew old, I got bored, it got blocked by my school filter, and I got tired of it & started seeing you. But now..
Now I'm leaving you for GooglePlus. Ok, not leaving per se. Thanks to a Chrome Extension I can connect you two (gee, you don't mind do you?) and thanks to If This Then That I've got my Google+ going to my Twitters (please do NOT ask me for an invite, I'm clear out :-( So....I really think that Google+ is going to satisfy my social media needs with my Twitters being first. The parties are better, more thoughtful - I'm definitely moving in better circles now. I love the Twitter chats  (#TLChat #EdChat) where I can get more in an hour than days talking with you!  I can't see giving up my Twitters. I hope Facebook you don't mind...but really? I could care less if you do. HA! Booya!
Please, don't call me, I've set up a Gmail filter to skip my inbox on all your emails....and for gosh sakes and for the love of all that is holy.......
DON'T. POKE. ME.
Update: 5.1.12 We're broken up for good! And really, I doubt I'll ever come back. I even found a way around how to have a school FB page without compromising my own email address...ha! And G+?? Just keeps getting better.
So what kind of relationship do you have with the Facebooks? Do you see it changing with Google+? I'd love to hear what you think!